Heart Matters

A Queen is born!

Today, I celebrated my birthday and the birth of grown woman..ish! I stopped having birthdays when I was 35 years old…June 9th and every year afterwards became my Queen Day! It was raining and cloudy when I woke up this Queen Day, but my spirit was joyfully anticipating my plan to launch my blog today. I wanted us to have the same born day.

Vision

Grown woman..ish! is a pathway towards the fulfillment of a promise that I made to myself during a retreat last winter. I spent about 4 hours in a Zoom room listening and talking to other women who were seeking clarity, vision and purpose for our lives. Being in this sacred space with other women who looked like me made me feel safe, validated and seen. So much in fact that I allowed myself to be vulnerable to women who were mostly strangers.

Something special happened to me in that retreat. I made the realization that somewhere along the path of my life journey that I stopped dreaming. And that realization hurt! I allowed self-limiting thoughts, disappointments, people-pleasing and fear to prohibit my ability to dream. Once I admitted those hard truths to myself, I created a new vision from an old dream. And yes, it’s quite possible to do! I committed to launching my blog and writing my book!

I’ve held onto the dream of being an author for more than 20 years now…actually even longer. I remember writing my first story, “Jerrica in the magic garden” when I was a child. It was a fairy tale handwritten on two sheets of notebook paper. I evolved in my writing journey since then and have written secured hundreds of thousands of dollars with successfully funded grant applications; helped others by writing recommendations for scholarships and career-building jobs. My writing fueled the dreams of others as I deferred my own dream to write.

Turning Point

I reached my turning point on that cold, winter day during the pandemic by deciding to fuel my own dream! This time would be different from my pattern of starts and stops, excuses, and unfinished journal entries that were originally purposed as chapters in my book. I decided to fight and win my battle with procrastination and doubt because my stories, lessons and ah-has should shared with the world. I dream of chronicling some of the most dramatic events of my life and weaving them into stories that will teach, inspire and entertain. Heck, something good has to come out of all of that LIVING OUT LOUD!

Grown woman…ish! will be a platform for healing, sharing, and growing! It will be a beacon for those who need light and a cheerleader for those who need encouragement. Grown woman…ish! will be a special place to visit when you need a pick me up or an “it’s going to be alright, Sis”. It will be a place where dreaming is welcomed and dream making is encouraged.

Today, we celebrated the birth of a Queen – Grown Woman…ish!