Not My Mama’s 50!

I was in the middle of my roaring 20’s when when my mother turned 50 years old. Of course, anyone in their 50’s is “old” to a young person at the height of their prime. Although only 25 years separates us, it seemed as if there was a farther distance between our spaces in time. My Mom had a different “air” about herself when she was my current age. She was an older 50 than me!

Maybe it has something to do with our upbringing? My mother survived childhood poverty and trauma, but so did I. My mother achieved some of her most significant accomplishments like earning her Nursing degree and working in her dream profession at an age that was older than most. And so did I! Like me, my mother was in the prime of her “late blooming summer” at 50. But, to me – her 50 looked different. And I think that it probably feels different. We are aging at a different pace. I’m a young 50!

A Young 50!

What is a young 50? Well, it’s funny that you ask! A young 50 has a youthful spirit with the energy to match. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes my body reminds me that I’m 50 plus ONE. But, most days, my mind feels the same vigor as I felt 20 or so years ago. I am a fly 50 – LOL! I work hard to keep myself together. And trust me, it’s hard work – it’s worth it!

I keep my body moving; stay fashion forward; and keep my mind right by working with my counselor to heal those damn “unresolved traumas”! There is still a whole lot of great living to be lived and enjoyed in our 40 plus years. I’m not ready to sit in a corner to knit and purl my way into retirement. There is still so much to learn about myself and opportunities to grow into the very best version of myself. And the same is true for you! Nope, we’re not ready for pants without zippers and shoes with velcro strips! No shade intended.

My best friend and I always joke about the things that our minds tell us. Like, Michelle Obama is in my girlfriend circle…in my mind! Beyonce is my little sister and Blue Ivy is my neicy-poo ..in my mind! And I am a roaring 28 -35 year old (depending on the day)…in my mind! It’s fun and games when we think about the untruths in our minds that we wish were truths. But seriously, my youthful feeling of zeal, excitement and amazement have not changed because I am 50 plus ONE. There are times when I feel like the time stopped on my youth and picked up the wisdom of a well-seasoned woman. Those moments are fire! I call them my Full of 50 moments!

Full of 50!

People can be full of a lot of things. Full of ish…full of themselves..full of joy. Well I am full of 50! It’s a wonderful place to arrive. Full of 50 means that you unapologetically embrace who you without giving 2 middle fingers up (one on each hand) if anyone else does.

It means an intentional end to the survival habits that we picked up along our life journey. Habits like people-pleasing; being led by fear; unenforced boundaries and silencing our voices. It’s a time to thrive by acknowledging our weaknesses and wounds and taking active steps towards healing and restoration!

I announced the launch of Grown Woman…ish! during the birthday celebration this year. It pleasantly surprised me when people noticed my post with my logo and unpopulated web address. One of my co-workers stopped me at work and asked about my post. She shared that my description of Grown Woman…ish! resonated with her because of the youthful exuberance as a woman in her sixth decade of life. She feels and lives like a vibrant 35 year old! I was floored that we are a decade apart because I thought that we were closer in age.

Being “Full of 50” is beginning to show up in my professional life. My presence and voice is louder in meetings even when I pledge to remain silent to myself. And I feel my boldness surge in those moments. I feel obliged release my energy into the space by sharing my opinion or processing thoughts. I experience a weird feeling of satisfaction when I don’t hold anything back. It’s a new place for me. I can’t even tell you about the number of times when I swallowed my hurt feelings; bit my lip; and wrestled with the angst of telling someone that I didn’t agree with their perspective. Full of 50 is a stage of growth where I’m leaning in. It’s the Age of Boldness!

Keep It Moving, Sis!

Moving is a necessity to live a vibrant 40 plus life. Being Full of 50 means we don’t let age rob our bodies of its natural movements and functions. My Grown Woman…ish! sistas – optimize your Full of 40 plus selves!

Keep or start exercising regularly; maintain/seek a healthy sex life (we’ll talk more about that later), rest and manage stress. Our bodies can age us, but we can fight to win the battles of physical age. Now with our minds – fight the doldrums and worries of life that age us by setting positive intentions. Start each day with an affirmation, prayer or meditation – or all of them to keep your mind in a peaceful place.

I begin each day by saying, “something good is going to happen to me today”. And I expect for something good to happen! We can transform our lives by transforming our thoughts. Although, we can’t control the “what” of aging, but we can influence ”how” we age. I’m sure that we all want to age well, with grace and style. I want to age “like a pair of new leather shoes” that get more comfortable as they mold to every unique contour of me.

Being “full of…” isn’t exclusive to 50, whether you are full of 40 or 50- be FULL of your best self.

Top 10 Ways to be Full of 50!

• Allow “no” to become your power word! Wield it to protect your peace, like a fencer uses a sword. Sometimes saying “no” is self-care!

• Stay active by moving your body EVERY day- walk, jog, dance, jump or skip – movement matters.

• Daydream – who would you like to be or meet… in your mind? You never know, it could happen! My point is to keep your imagination and minds active.

• Say it OUTLOUD, Sis! Release the energy by putting your voice in the room or in ears that need to hear it.

• Try something new for the heck of it! A new restaurant, trendy hairstyle, take a class in something that you always wanted to learn or even change the route that you take home. You may find a new experience that will take your Full of …moment to the next level.

• Stop playing it safe! If the reward is great, take the chance. Remember we got to kick those ”what ifs” to the curb where they belong.

• Travel to a place where you’ve never been before. – bonus points if you roll solo! Don’t let your single status or a partner who doesn’t like to travel keep you homebound. Organize a girlfriend trip or join a travel club. It’s a whole world out there that’s waiting for you to see it!

• If you’re too young or not ready to retire and feel unfulfilled or frustrated by work, find a new job. Life is too short to be aggravated for 2,080 full-work hours per year (and yes, I know this number!).

• Do something creative! It activates a different part of your brain and releases those wonderful feel-good endorphins. Writing this blog has given me something to look forward to and taught me a new skills. Who knew that I could build a website on my own!

• Be your damn self and flash two flying fingers (the middle ones on each hand) for those who won’t accept it. PERIOD.

What does your Full of 40, 50 or plus feel like? Drop me a comment below!