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Just do the thing!
I ran in my first 5K run yesterday! Well actually I ran, jogged, trudged through mud and giggled through lathers of bubbles! By now, you should realize that I’m going to find a story or life lesson in the ordinary events of life. My play little sister asked me and my best friend last December to join her in a 5K in July. I was hesitant at first because I know myself. Some things are a great idea until it’s actually time to do it. And this 5K race that we committed to almost 6 months ago is a great example of my “until” principle. But here we were two 50 Plus ONES and a 5K with the determination to be like Nike and “just do it”.
The “Until” Principle
Yesterday was the worst weather day that we’ve had in about a month. It’s mostly been “easy, breezy and beautiful” summer days. There have a been a few sprinkles except for today. On Friday evening, the weather forecast predicted “spotty showers” that would be over by run time. Wrong! Oh so wrong.
We were in the 8:00 a.m. wave of runners – which added more sting to my “until” principle. I’m usually an easy-going, morning person – except for yesterday. The steady rain and heavy clouds added to my “meh” attitude about the run. Anywho, I strive to be a woman of my word. So I sucked it up and pushed ahead….in the driving rain.
We didn’t run on paved streets with scores of onlookers cheering us on with handclaps and cups of water. Nope, we ran on a make-shift course over a wet grassy field; slippery and sloshy mud; cracked pavement and gravel. The race was promoted as a Bubble Run because of the different gateways of colored bubbles that you run through at different places in the course. At first, I was aggravated and nervous that I was going to fall. I texted my husband and called it a “colossal failure” Until my best friend reminded me that “I am an adventurer…now”. I don’t let fear rule my life…I rule my fear! And I certainly don’t allow aggravations of life to stop me from pursuing and achieving my goals. I am the old, new me!
Hype-Woman…get yours!
Now I must tell you that everybody needs a Hype-Woman (or Man) in your life! Someone who reminds you of your past wins and your ability to win again! My best friend and I are each other’s Hype Women! We have hyped each other up since we were 12 years old! She reminded me that, “Girl, you’ve been kayaking in the ocean. Climbing volcanos. Wading under waterfalls….this is nothing”! Next thing I know, I’m hyped up and tapping into my inner-Warrior Woman to “do this thing”!
Photo by Verena Yunita Yapa on Unsplash We speed walked and talked; held hands through the slippery mud; jogged on grass; ran on pavement and giggled through bubbles. At one point, the bubbles were so thick that we couldn’t see. My best friend reached back and said, “grab my hand and close your eyes. I will lead us through.” I laughed hysterically at the time because of the massive amounts of thick bubbles that stuck to every part of our bodies.
My eyes are full of tears as I write this post. There have been so many times, when we held each others hands and closed our eyes as we led the other through grief, trauma, and heartache. So yesterday reality was “nothing”! She is definitely the ChairWoman of my personal Board of TRUSTees (more to come about this subject). Let’s get back to the run…
Admittedly I wanted to look cool and fit when the photographers snapped our pictures running across the finish line. But at the one mile point, I just wanted to finish. I could feel my 50 PLUS ONE knees (not like Megan THE Stallion’s) begin to fail me. And I can’t forget to tell you that my right hip woke up and let me know that she was with me. But my determination told those whining joint-sisters to chill out!
Chill out negative self-talk!
Y’all we got to tell ourselves to chill with negative self-talk when we have a goal in sight. We have to think about when we’ve accomplished hard things that made us close our eyes and get through. The times when we made fears bow down to the Queen. Stop the self-limiting beliefs…especially in our Marvelous Middle, my Sistas! There have been times when I yelled, “STOP” out loud to turn off the “Can’t Do It” song that’s playing in my head. Now I don’t want you to look odd by yelling at yourself. But you can turn up the volume on your “Can do, Have done and Will do” song. And how do you do it?
Photo byZibik on Unsplash How to turn off negative self-talk?
Well, I’m glad that you asked! It’s so easy for our minds to settle on negativity like I did when we began the run. All I saw was mud, rain and my expectations for the race not being met. I couldn’t do anything about the mud or rain, but I could address my expectations. I always tell people that “when you can’t change your situation, change your perspective about it”. Find something to be grateful about – even if it’s just one thing. Yesterday, I was grateful to spend time with my best friend and laugh like we were teenagers again. Both of have busy lives with family and work commitments. Although we talk every day – somedays it isn’t so easy to find time and just hang out.
“When you can’t change your situation,
change your perspective.”
Kim DixonRun away from negative people
I almost got sucked in with the runners in the crowd who expressed their disappointment about the run. Get away from negative people who suck you into their abyss of poisonous thoughts. There is truth in the expression that “misery loves company”. There are some who find comfort in sitting in their discomfort. Well, I ain’t one of them and neither are you. We use Grown Woman…ish! vibes for good and not evil. Sitting in negative thoughts may create a snowball effect by allowing the passing thoughts to stay and turn into a full blown snowstorm. And we’re too busy discovering and living in our joy for that to happen.
Cross the finish line
At last, the finish line was in clear sight. Bestie and I charted chanting, “50 PLUS ONE! 50 PLUS ONE! 50 PLUS ONE” as we passed my play little sister. Yep at this point, we didn’t want her to beat us. Kinda childish, but fun! We got closer to the finish line with each chant and step. Sure, there were people who finished well ahead of us. But the point is that we finished.
My bestie is right, I am now an adventurer of any new thing or experience that brings me joy! It’s time to ditch the Bucket List and LIVE. I don’t want to go through life checking experiences off before I die. I pray that I have more life than list – so why create one in the first place? Just live, Sis.
Grown Woman…ish! is a no judgement zone. I won’t say a word if you have a Bucket List. But I am going to challenge you to activate your list. No more excuses about time that you don’t have; or listening to the “Can’t Do It” song; or waiting for a push to begin. This is your push – do your thing, Sis!
Remember the keys to doing your thing –
- Get your Hype Person
- Chill out with the negative self talk
- Change your perspective and look for gratitude
- Run away from negative people
- Cross the finish line!
With anything in this life, it doesn’t matter when you begin..just begin and do the thing! Whatever your thang is, just do it! So tell me, what is your “thing”?
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The Old, New Me
For at least the past 10 years or so, I’ve told my friends that “we’re too young to be old”! And I wasn’t talking about our chronological ages. I was describing our collective internal energy that leaps when we walk in our purpose and live in our joy! Too young to be old means that we still have a sense of adventure to walk new paths and make new discoveries that get us closer to our purpose and the joys of life! It’s still so much of this world for us to discover and enjoy.
Purpose and Joy
The path to purpose and joy can be filled with hard earned and painful lessons. Some leave scars and wounds that tarnish our joy and make us live in a dimmed state of a new normal. It seems like we’re looking at life through smudgy lenses until we take them off and rediscover the joy that couldn’t be seen.
I’m in this place of discovery and invite you to join me.
Opening the portal of my creative and blooming technical abilities has opened my mind up in a better and more imaginative way. I now envision myself as the HBCU Majorette of “Women of a Certain Age”.
“Women of a Certain Age is a phrase used to avoid saying a person usually a woman is no longer young, but not yet old.”
Free dictionarySidebar: I discovered “Women of a Certain Age” during an internet search for words to describe middle aged women. It tickles me to find old school words and use them in a sentence. Kinda like preparing for my weekly spelling test in elementary school. I think that “certain age” is kinda dope. It’s an old school way of saying – “too young to be old and too old to be young”. We’re in the marvelous and evolving middle!
Now back to my dream, I see myself talking about Grown Woman…ish! and my book on stages, in podcasts and during uplifting conversations that are filled with finger snaps, nodding heads and high-fives. We’ve all heard the UNCF tagline, “A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste”. Well, the “Mind is a Beautiful Thing to Heal”!
Heal, Learn, Grow and Restore!
We have the ability to heal, learn, grow AND restore. Yes, we can be an “old, new me”! She is a healed and whole person who has evolved into the optimal state of herself. The old, new me sounds like an oxymoron. How can we be old, but new at the same time? It’s called evolution, Sis!
evolution – the gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex form.
New oxford americAN DICTIONARY
Photo by Suzanne D.Williams on Unsplash As I read the definition of evolution, my eyes fixate on the phrase, “from a simple to a more complex form”. Evolution is complex because the foundation remains the same. However, our redevelopment is built from weaknesses that are optimized into our greatest strengths. My transition from “simple to complex” feels like a thrilling drive on an uphill, winding road. I don’t know what’s around the corner until making the turn. And I’m still evolving!
Women In Transition
Recently, I was asked to deliver the morning keynote address at the Cuyahoga Community College Women In Transition Summer Conference on August 13, 2022. Although I’ve see myself speaking in big spaces and places, my hand shook as I typed my acceptance to the invitation. It felt as if someone peaked into my imagination and kickstarted my new reality. Public speaking doesn’t bother me, in fact I feel energized by it. However, this time will be different because I won’t be talking about my work. I am going to share about my self-work of healing, learning, growing and restoring. I’m also going to allow my fellow Women In Transition to hold my baby girl who I named, Grown Woman…ish! and her growth stages in the rediscovery of living in my joy. Here’s another fast turn to the unknown on my uphill, winding road.
I joyfully accepted this speaking opportunity because I am a Woman In Transition. I’m in a space where I’m evolving into a more advanced and developed version of myself in a dynamic world of change. Ooh that sounds like a description of a science fiction movie. Think about it, we are always in a constant state of change in a changing world.
Transition isn’t a bad thing. I get it, we’re all creatures of habit and change feels scary. Just remember that the space between fear and action is growth. And I’m all in for “healing, learning and growing to find and live in my joy”!
If I describe my journey of evolution as a checklist, it would read as follows –
My Evolution Checklist
Showing UP as the old, new me!
I am the old, new me! And guess what, she’s confident, fun-loving, young at heart, wise and is finding and living in her joy. The old, new me shows up differently in my marriage; work; friendships and in the world. For my close girlfriends in my life, I’m received with “Welcome, back! Girl, we missed you.”! For co-workers, it’s the grand reaction, “Wow, Girl you’re on fire in these meetings!” And for my husband, it’s the good night with “I love you, Babe. I’m happy to see you happy again”. And as they say on social media, “it was the you look so joyful” comment from one of my social media friends for me!
Late Night Revelations
I had a revelation before falling asleep the other night. It came to me as my eyes fluttered with drowsiness and the ceiling fan created a gentle, cool breeze in the room. As I drifted into a deeper state of relaxation, I was lulled by my husband’s deep breaths of sleep and warmth emanating from his body. I felt happy….actually it was joy-infused gratitude for my journey and its peaceful destination. Then I smiled to myself and wished my old, new me “good night” and looked forward to greeting her in the morning.
What is on your evolution checklist? Drop a comment below – let’s talk!
