Sorry, too many sorry’s!

Hey, Sis, stop apologizing for stupid.. ish! I’m going to begin this post with a list that qualify as stupid ish to apologize for –

Don’t apologize for…..

1. People who let you down
2. Jobs that don’t recognize your greatness or potential
3. Disrespectful children
4. Being your authentic self
5. Cutting off people and/or situations from your life that don’t serve or treat you well
6. Situations that you have no control
7. Fill in the blank ____________________________

Sorry, that’s too many sorry’s for me…and you! Trust is earned, not given. Why do we treat the priceless gift of our grace with any less value? As a child, I was forced to apologize even when I wasn’t the offender. Can you relate? If so, then it conditioned us to accept responsibility for wrongdoings or small injustices that we didn’t commit. How many times did you say, “but I didn’t do anything’? Now that we’re good and grown, sometimes we revert back to our child selves and automatically apologize. Have you ever apologized for something that you didn’t do to make immediate peace? However, the price of your fake apology was an inner-discomfort that couldn’t be settled. It’s because you gave away an “I’m sorry” to someone who didn’t deserve it.

Today, I was talking to one of my girlfriends about a dating situation. She has been dating a guy for a couple of months. This weekend, dude pulled a Harry Houdini and disappeared on my friend. They spoke, hours after their scheduled date and my friend delivered a “natural, salty-arse” (not a typo) reaction to his lame excuse. I was into her account of the events until….she apologized to him for her “natural, salty-arse” (not a typo) reaction. What??!!! My reaction was, “you had nothing to apologize for!” I get it, we want to present ourselves as controlled and mature. However, he deserved her “natural, salty-arse” (not a typo) reaction! Grace is divinely granted without any effort by the recipient. There is power in the grace that we give by choice. And sometimes we give the power of our grace away to those that don’t deserve it.

Own your ish, but no one else’s!

Owning my mistakes; apologizing; and making it right is one of my life mantras. I now realize that this is a principle that everyone doesn’t subscribe to. Why was it necessary for me to “own” someone else’s shortcomings? I owned someone else’s mistakes when I gave away my “I’m sorry” to those who never gave me theirs. Chalk that to my people-pleasing tendencies that I am working to eliminate.

Own your “I’m sorry”!

I’ve done it too many times to recall. It’s been my automatic response to individuals at work who offended me; unreliable men that I dated; and any situation that I wanted to bandage my disappointment or hurt. I’m not saying to walk around with an unforgiving spirit or with a chip on your shoulder. What I am saying is to recognize and treasure the value of “your grace”. Sometimes it means spending a Saturday night alone. Or having an uncomfortable conversation with a manager, co-worker or even family member about what you’re not going to accept. It’s past time to step up and OWN our grace! OWN your “I’m sorry”!

Sis, make your grace count! Give your “I’m sorry” power by using it when you own the offense and can make it right. Don’t bandage a hurt or disappointment with an “I’m sorry” because it makes you or your offender feel better. Hold those accountable who offend you, give them space to apologize …AND make it right. Be prepared to walk away because the power of your grace and peace is worth it.

What is something that we shouldn’t apologize for? Drop a comment below.